My wife and I were having dinner with our friends the Toubians earlier this year, talking about our kids and the challenges of taking care of them and keeping our house in order. We talked about how we both are fortunate to have housekeeping help but were also concerned about the expense and also not wanting to outsource too much. [Being Jewish, we have this egalitarian complex in which we want health care for all, and in that same vein we are not comfortable with someone cleaning our house while we are working on our laptop one room over.]
As we continued talking, our friend Mona mentioned that a friend of hers had an audience with the great Rabbi Mendel Schneerson to discuss her being out of sorts with the challenges of raising children and managing a household, while also not feeling comfortable asking her husband for more outside help.
She was surprised at the Rebbe’s advice, which was that it is a man’s duty to get help for his wife. That it does not matter what your economic means are, you need to find a way to get some help for your wife in running a household. That it is your responsibility as a husband to help your wife feel as contented and grounded as possible, and that getting her help when she needs it is of utmost importance.
The Rebbe was asking his audience to consider the dividends of cutting certain other expenses to pay for this high priority expense. It is an interesting idea to consider downgrading our cable package or eating out two times less a month for the benefit of making life easier on the household. Was it Confucious that said, “Happy wife, happy life”?